fame

Why is fame so interesting to us? It must be something of a drudgery, some heavy duty yoke that you can't ever take off. Most of us, although not all of us, think it could be cool to be known, famously, for something. If it's a talent, skill, discovery or achievement, we want other people to know we stand out. But the reality of it is, most likely, one giant bummer. There's the lack of privacy, everyone knowing things about you that you'd prefer they didn't, and other aspects that I probably can't imagine. It seems like it would be better if we could embrace obscurity. I think the world would be so much better if we were all more 'servant-hearted'. If we could do things behind the scenes, help others, and not take any credit for it. Fame seeks out 'credit', obscurity tends to insure you don't get any. Ida know, just a thought.

fat

There is so much power in that three letter word. I mean, really. For me, it's more than just an adjective that's avoided at all costs. It can be an emotion, a state of being, a mood indicator, a challenge and motivator... and on and on. It's so loaded with cultural and personal meaning that to confront it head on is almost intolerable. So much easier to ignore it. Whether I'm on track, doing the things I know will help or incredibly sidetracked, I don't want to look at it: literally or figuratively.

If I'm working hard at working out and eating right, then I feel like I'm on top of the world, and I'm NOT fat, or at least I don't feel that way. My sister and I call it 'reverse anorexia'. Our images of ourselves don't match the mirror, but in the opposite way that anorexia patients view themselves. We will catch a glimse of ourselves in the mirror, and think, "NAH, that's just wrong! We don't REALLY look like that!"

And if I'm sidetracked, not tracking my food, and eating more than my body needs, then I just want to ignore the idea of being fat. If I wanted to confront it, well, I would workout!

More later. maybe.